If you’d like to eavesdrop on my inner monologue, consider letting me read to you—just press play on the voiceover above.
This entry was originally drafted on 5/6/23.
How does value value value?
I had planned to publish a few more free entries before even thinking about paid content—since, as of this writing, I have only a single-dozen free subscribers (including my husband, my neighbor, two of my best friends, and my mom) it seems rather like putting the cart before the horse to start hawking1 paid content this early.
But I also just published my first “real” journal entry, where I feel like I might actually know what I’m doing, and I can’t contain my excitement! So fuck it, I’m hitting the ground running—worst case scenario, no one cares, and that’s fine.2 Plus, if I interrogate my instinct to delay on paid content, it yields some interesting assumptions. Like…it kind of implies that I assume the value of my content depends on the number of people subscribing to Juxtaposition.
You can argue various comparative scenarios all day long: Does the value of Van Gogh’s work depend on how many paintings he sold in his life? Does the value of Kim Kardashian’s work depend on how many people follow her on Instagram? Does the value of my therapist’s work depend on how many people think I am fun to hang out with?
These are…stupid questions. You have to define what you mean by ‘value’, and figure out who should do the valuing, and how to compare relative values, and the answers probably change in different situations, and…does it even matter?
Is deciding how much value something might have really the most valuable way to spend your time and effort?
What is the value of a value-calculation?
Maybe just put that effort towards doing the thing instead?
So I reject the assumption that the value of my content is determined by the number of subscribers, and I’m going to do the thing instead.
Transactional Trust.
I think what matters is that I want to put the effort in—I feel called to do so. I have a cardboard box and a big plastic tub full of my old journals, short stories, drawings, and photo albums that I have been planning to share (eventually) in a “Personal Archaeology” series for paid subscribers.
I know in my bones that these boxes are bursting with memories, ideas, and other alchemical reagents for me to play with—along with the odd emotional booby-trap, I’m sure. I still want to dive in and see what I find.
And why would I put in all that effort and NOT share it here? So “eventually” is now.
And y’know, a pay-wall actually makes me feel a lot safer about putting personal stuff on the internet, no matter how large or not-large my current audience is. It still seems fair to ask You3 to make a little bit of a personal investment in my well-being, before being invited to know my personal history. That’s how trust works.
But! don’t worry, I’m not asking you to blindly invest in my ephemera.
I’ll give you a taste first.
As they say, the first one’s always free…wink.
Personal Archaeology: Infinizine
So here’s how it’s gonna work…
Free entries are published every-other-Friday. Personal Archaeology exhibits will be published on the other-other-Fridays, making Juxtaposition a weekly newsletter for paid subscribers.
Today is an other-other-Friday and this is an introduction to the new thing.
Next Friday will be a regularly scheduled free entry for all subscribers.
But the following Friday, I will drop my first official Personal Archaeology exhibit here on Juxtaposition. It will be FREE and You will love it.
I will share the first part of a multi-part series showcasing a ‘zine I made c. 2007, when I was 17 years old. I called it Infinizine. It had only one issue and was never distributed—I never even took it to Kinkos.
But, as you will see, I’ve been running on the same hamster wheel for a long time.
In many ways, Juxtaposition is, now, what I couldn’t make Infinizine be, then.
The Bottom Line.
The complete Infinizine series of Personal Archaeology exhibits will be freely available to all subscribers—but, as a thank-you to anyone choosing to place an early bet on Juxtaposition’s success, the subscription price will be at its lowest starting…now.
Use the button below to upgrade your subscription for a discounted price any time before I release the final Infinizine. The current price will be your price forever, as long as you don’t cancel.
Will You think about it? You have some time to decide.
If You’d rather stay on a free subscription, I won’t blame You at all. You’ll still receive all of my best content—but I sure would appreciate it if You’d take a moment to share Juxtaposition with someone in Your life who might enjoy it.
And as always, You can be read by me via email to juxtaposition@substack.com. I probably won’t respond, but read the “Comun(icat)ion” section of the About Page to find out why You should definitely still write to me.
…or is it ‘hocking’? I even tried to look it up, but an easy answer wasn’t on the first page of Duck-Duck-Go.
You have no idea how weird it is for me to say (and believe) it’s fine if people don’t care about something I did…tbh, that in itself tells me I’m on the right track.
Assuming You are not my husband, best friend, or mom…they paid their dues in other ways and get in for free, lol.